Jam Crisis Averted
Jam stocks in the Kitsilano residence of Lisa Bettany reached an all time low on February 19, 2007. “I just forgot to get jam on my last trip to COSTCO,” said Bittany. “It just slipped my mind and it was raining and my grocery list got wet and the [end].*”
By teatime February 20th, there was no jam. Not a drop. An official “Jam Alert” was put into effect at 4:01pm. At 4:02pm, all Toastable goods were rationed. At 4:03pm, Toastables including, three Mount Royal sesame bagels, 4 slices of Cobs’ nutty nut bread, and one blueberry scone purchased from Safeway, were put in the household freezer to maintain freshness until Jam Alert was lifted. “Toastables just don’t taste good without jam,” befuddled Ms. Bettany. “I like honey every now and again, but jam is a staple in my household.”
“I like jam,” quipped Sally-Ann Johnson, bird lover and cat aficionado. “It tastes better than salt and it doesn’t upset my Sippy’s stomach. He’s a nervous creature, yeah. Always has been. Especially around my tabby, Sappy… Yeah, he’s a shorthaired tabby with golden eyes. He’s very proud creature. Well, you know come to think of it… once he was very [small] and [furry].*”
The Jam Alert was maintained until 6pm the following day when Lisa Brittany returned from the local Capers with a new supply of jam. In a twist of fate, Ms. Betteny bought blackberry and mixed berry jam instead of her usual choice: strawberry. “After everything I’ve been through in the last day, I just thought, I’ll just go with my bad self,” said Bettany.
The Jam Alert was officially lifted at 6:01pm this evening. Toastables were returned to the bread bin. De-freezing time varied between toastable goods based on the size and “thickness” of the product.
*Quote shorted due to length.
Well, everything is back to normal. Phew. Now I can toast me up a nice thick toastable for dinner. You know what would make this toast and butter and jam taste even better and a “complete protein”? What could it be?
Maybe Hidden Treasures (Part 2) will give you few hints.
Kelli said on February 20th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
Quite the day, hmm.
verytasteful said on February 21st, 2007 at 1:34 am
Love it.
mostlyme said on February 21st, 2007 at 2:18 am
Jam or peanut butter?
verytasteful said on February 21st, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Yes.
Kristin said on February 22nd, 2007 at 6:04 am
So…it’s just laying there? That might be the creepiest part of all.
mostlyme said on February 22nd, 2007 at 11:56 pm
Yes. All hidden treasures are found exactly as they are photographed, which leads me to pontificate on many amusing questions: How? Why? What? Who? etc.
5 day update: Still there. Less creepy, more sad.
MostlyLisa.com: Lisa Bettany. Canada’s Sexy Geek Blog » Blog Archive » DIY Photography for the Thrifty and Unrich said on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:43 am
[...] and a half ago, I spent most of my time sculking about in the alleyways of my city, photographing “hidden treasures” that I’d find. This “derelict” phase stopped abruptly in July 2007, about 10 days [...]