Party Invitation, mostly

Event: Super fun dance party.
Where: My back alley.
Who’s coming: So far: Me, mostly. But everyone is welcome.
Why? Celebrating the finding hidden treasures.

Come one come all.
Make sure to BYOD. (D=Discman)

PS. The following items will be provided:

1. One pair of headphones.

2. One CD. Musical genre, yet to be determined.

3. Snacks.

NB. Adhesive dressings, AKA Band-Aids, will NOT be provided.

Speaks for itself doesn’t it?

Dear fellow actor,

Sometimes “the industry” can get you down. It’s tough. I know. I auditioned for a beer commercial two weeks ago. In a bikini.

But you can’t always just toss a coin in the air and expect heads. Sometime you get tails. So buck up. Proud like a peacock. You don’t just give up like that. Come on, you can keep going. I know you can.

No? You’re done with acting. You never get cast? Oh, don’t worry. It takes some time. Been at it for 7 years and never got an audition? Well, it’s the effort that counts, isn’t it? You know George Clooney went two years without getting an audition. Yeah. And he’s the world’s sexiest man. What? Where did I hear that? Oh, a very reliable on-line source… Where? Oh, you know… Wikipedia.

Your agent lives where? In Abbostford? Oh. In a trailer. Oh. You’ve never actually met him? Oh. Sorry.

What about just getting your foot in the door, you know… in the background. What? They won’t even let you work as an extra? Oh. Got kicked off “Fantastic Four” for trying to grope Jessica Alba. Well, that’s understandable. But her bodyguards didn’t understand? Yes, that’s also understandable. They did what? Oh! Yes that’s a very large bruise. Still tender. How about that.

Well, at least save one headshot for the scrapbook because at $3 a pop, tossing those Rocket Repro headshots in the trash just isn’t good economics.

You’re independently wealthy? Oh well. Carry-on then.

After a torrential downpour last night, our creepy little red-nosed friend was looking rather derelique today. Poor thing. He just wants to be loved.

Jam Crisis Averted

Jam stocks in the Kitsilano residence of Lisa Bettany reached an all time low on February 19, 2007. “I just forgot to get jam on my last trip to COSTCO,” said Bittany. “It just slipped my mind and it was raining and my grocery list got wet and the [end].*”

By teatime February 20th, there was no jam. Not a drop. An official “Jam Alert” was put into effect at 4:01pm. At 4:02pm, all Toastable goods were rationed. At 4:03pm, Toastables including, three Mount Royal sesame bagels, 4 slices of Cobs’ nutty nut bread, and one blueberry scone purchased from Safeway, were put in the household freezer to maintain freshness until Jam Alert was lifted. “Toastables just don’t taste good without jam,” befuddled Ms. Bettany. “I like honey every now and again, but jam is a staple in my household.”

“I like jam,” quipped Sally-Ann Johnson, bird lover and cat aficionado. “It tastes better than salt and it doesn’t upset my Sippy’s stomach. He’s a nervous creature, yeah. Always has been. Especially around my tabby, Sappy… Yeah, he’s a shorthaired tabby with golden eyes. He’s very proud creature. Well, you know come to think of it… once he was very [small] and [furry].*”

The Jam Alert was maintained until 6pm the following day when Lisa Brittany returned from the local Capers with a new supply of jam. In a twist of fate, Ms. Betteny bought blackberry and mixed berry jam instead of her usual choice: strawberry. “After everything I’ve been through in the last day, I just thought, I’ll just go with my bad self,” said Bettany.

The Jam Alert was officially lifted at 6:01pm this evening. Toastables were returned to the bread bin. De-freezing time varied between toastable goods based on the size and “thickness” of the product.

*Quote shorted due to length.

Well, everything is back to normal. Phew. Now I can toast me up a nice thick toastable for dinner. You know what would make this toast and butter and jam taste even better and a “complete protein”? What could it be?

Maybe Hidden Treasures (Part 2) will give you few hints.

I’m sorry if this post did not help your phobia of clowns. Just remember: He’s not looking AT you, he’s looking WITH you.

Let the touring begin!

Ryland, my rock star boyfriend and brilliant bassist, headed off to Toronto on the first leg of the tour yesterday at 4:30am, with bandmates Jesse Tucker, the fab guitarist/songwriter and pop-culture afficianado, and the talented, soon-to-famous, singer/songwriter, Jessie Farrell.

I am posting the tour dates just incase you’re living in any of these places and are looking for an energetic and fun show. I predict much laugther, joy and delightment if you go to see Jessie Farrell open for Emerson Drive. You can check out some of her music by clicking here.

Tour Dates:
Brandon, MB — Feb. 22
Winnipeg, MB — Feb. 23
Kelowna, BC — Mar. 4th
Kamloops, BC — Mar. 5th
Grand Prarie, AB — Mar. 6th
Edmonton, AB — Mar. 7th
Ft. McMurray, AB — Mar. 8th
Calgary — Mar. 9th, 10th

Due to auditioning commitments and financial reasons, I will not be joining this eastern half of the current tour, however I plan on making it the Calgary leg of the journey. It should be a blast as they are playing in a casino… fun! And opening for Country Fried “Emerson Drive” in a casino. What could be better? Gambling and chicken. I am also looking forward to meeting all of Ry’s Albertan relatives and connecting with some of my Calgarian friends. Yee Haw.

Here’s me trying to sneak in Ry’s bass flight case at 2am. “Take me with you! I fit. Look how small and inconspicuous I can make myself.”

I hit the magic button and here I am! “They mostly come out at night… mostly” has finally arrived.

I must say I’ve been on Wordpress for little under a day and already it has blown my mind. Why did I bother with blogger? Seriously. I spent hours and hours trying to hack their templates and their glitchy widgets. Glitchy and inflexible. Quite bothersome, I tell you. Phew… That almost turned into a rant. But, I turned on the Anti-Rant-o-matic 2007zti model (very new, stainless-steel, small as a stack of butter) just in time. My anti-ranting machine reminded me that while I did spend a large amount of time tweaking and geeking, I did learn a lot about html coding (mostly, how to NOT write code and how CSS is way better).

Anyway, it’s lovely to be here. I look forward to wording and pressing and everything that is beautiful.

HIGH FIVE!

PS Please be patient while I get things up and running.

I don’t have time to be a fancy pants with my normal level of chord charting, so I will just link you up to the song I am playing at this very moment: “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away” by the Beatles. It’s a fun song to play with nice simple chords so you don’t have to hurt yourself with any crazy finger stretching ones like those in the “B” family…

“B” is for Bar chord and Big Blisters.

Sophie’s Cosmic Cafe, located on the corner of 4th and Arbutus in lovely Kitsilano, is a fun place to have dinner. The best part is that fun never stops because Sophie’s is right next to the Comic Shop (bright yellow building) and the Candy Aisle (groovy green building). Eat, nerd, and rot your teeth, all in one go.

Here’s a nice, cozy booth for you and me. I think I’ll order the Sophie’s Nut Burger with fries and a Caesar salad. Oh, and a big chocolate milkshake for desert. How ’bout you? The open-faced turkey sandwich with fries and lots of gravy? Sounds great. Oh yes I know, gravy really is everywhere.

Yes, that’s a giant plastic fish stuck on a pool table… I know, it adds a certain degree of je ne sais quoi?

There are loads of entertaining things to look at in the Cosmic Cafe. They have the largest, mish mashed collection of 50s, 60s and 70s memorabilia I’ve ever seen… crazy glued to a restaurant wall.

You have a soft spot for Oldies’ tunes as well? Why, what a lovely coincidence. My personal favourite Old School ditty is by the great Jimmy Dean, “Smoke, Smoke, Smoke that Cigarette.” Yours too? Brilliant.

You know what goes great with cigarettes? Coffee. And lots of it. I’m on my fifth cup.

Hey! It’s Charles. He’s a very proud parrot.

Thanks for visiting Sophie’s! Hope your experience was cosmic. I sure had fun.

What happens when you watch, study, and obsess over Wes Anderson films for three days in a row?

*Warning: The viewing of said masterpiece has been known to cause “confusion” and “dizziness” in some people.