Bet all you posh British folks are feeling well pleased with yourselves. Pleased as punch, aren’t you? Cuing up at the Regent Street Apple Store, moments away from smudging your fish and chip and egg and marmite crispy fingers all over a shiny new iPhone… Well I’m sooooooooo happy for you.

So is this Mounty. If he had an iPhone, perhaps he would have been able to save Mantook the beaver, who was injured in a tragic igloo cave-in.

I leave you with this sad self-portrait of me and my crappy Nokia z-they-don’t-even-make-this-model-anymore Phone. Think aboot that, Nikf and Graham and Nathan, and feel just a tad guilty for the iPhoneless Canadian girl.

Apparently, wordpress.com loves me sooo much they have given me free advertising for my new domain on their homepage:

I love how launching MostlyLisa.com falls under the technology label. This Week in Technology, bikini tech sexpot, Mostly Lisa, launched her new blog… with a bikini video… it was so high tech. I’m really touched that the wp random algorithm cares about me so much.

In other tech relatedness:*Remember to add my new blog to your technorati favs*

and make sure you remind me to grab yours if i haven’t. i’m all about the link loving.

XOX
Mostly Lisa

My new blog designed by the coding monkeys is almost ready to launch. I am currently making the final tweaks to design stuff and activating all the wp plugins (of which there are so many it has taken me days to sort through them all). The revver plugin is working excellente. I am soooooo amped. Twill be uber… no more than uber… twill be wikky-wikky boo-yah indeed.

And as I touch up my “about page” copy… yet again, I am faced with the overwhelming task of defining my entire “being” in a very short and snappy paragraph using… uhh… you got it… personal labels.

What are personal labels?

Well let’s just refresh our memories with something smart I wrote on November 30, 2006:

Personal labels are important.

They tell people who you are, what you do, your passions, and your internal dialogue. Labels allow people sum up your entire personality and worth in a few simple words. Labels aid in the categorization of individuals into basic social groups. And social groups connect you to the world, like internet sharing.

Take this for an example: One day you’re a disconnected nobody weighed down by all your freakish individualisms and the next day you’re piggy-backing off of your neighbour’s really fast internet connection uploading the last six seasons of “24” like a hot damn. Now you’ve got it. Yes, sharing and labels go hand in hand. Like uploading movies and criminals.

Labels are belonging. And who doesn’t want to belong?
I know I do.

Concluding thoughts:

Labels save people the valuable time and effort in getting to know you. And time is money. And money is important. And so I circumvent back to the beginning “labels are important”.

Some very wise observations, don’t you think? (The right answer is “yes”.) But that doesn’t really help me much. I’m still staring at a blank page here. I must be labeled. Label Me! Label Me?

In order to aid my self-labeling attempts, I have created a short “brain-storming” exercise called:
“Words that Define Me: Lisa’s Brain-storming exercise about personal labels. Part One. Series Two.”

How you do it and what you find is up to you.
NB. It helps to use different colored pens to stave off boredom.

Here is mine, par example:

Wow. It’s truly amazing the sheer amount of words, with little or absolutely no relation to each other, you can generate from “brainstorming”. Well, I don’t know about you, but that sure helped me. If you too are struggling with your own personal defining words, why don’t you try this exercise… although you probably won’t be able to use words like “model” or “gorgeous”, but don’t be afraid of words like “normal person” and “plain”, those are great words too. *caught in a lie* Umm, ok see ya then. *runs*

*pops head in for a moment with a PS* If you have any good personal labels for Mostly Lisa, the comment area is a good place to put them.

Photo by Darryl Humphrey

So what do you think? The glasses… they make me look pretty smart don’t they? I could be a nuclear physicist, or a doctor of some kind, perhaps a shrewd lawyer, or a mathematics genius, noble prize winning peace person… couldn’t I?

I just want to be taken seriously and just receive an ounce of respect for my thoughts, opinions and vast knowledge of loads of stuff. I want my agent to stop sending me to beer commercials where I have to mud wrestle in booty shorts or make-out with girl vampires or shag zombies in bar restrooms. Seriously!I wanna be recognized for more than just my outer shell. I have a highly trained mind, keen “watching and learning” skills, and a heart that… um… What do hearts do? Uhh… care? Yah, and a heart that cares for others!!!So I’m asking you, my beloved blog followers, to:Vote ‘Yes’ for Smart Lisa.

Photos by Darryl Humphrey

Any and all comments discussing and/or praising the smartness Lisa will be gratefully accepted and admired and perhaps printed and glued into an “I am Smart. S-m-r-t” scrapbook.

According to my stats you don’t! greedy bunch of Mudbloods and PC users! I am busy shooting videos all day Friday and Saturday in the cold and the rain with only steeped tea and timbits (small donut holes for yous unfamiliar wif Tim Hortons aka Timmy Hohos) as nourishment and I come back to find my precious stats in the gutter.

The gutter, I tell you!

Do you think i have an endless supply of tech advice/awkward, funny and endearing stories of my personal trials and tribulations/tears? Do you think that my vast knowledge on pretty much every topic ever grows on trees like the money that I earn from my blossoming acting career? That I can surf the www and read RSS feeds during my 8-10 hours of beauty sleep?

The answer is NO. Ok. I’m human. I make *mistakes* (though not often grammatical and/or spelling errors) and I have to work *cough* and do housework *liar* like everyone else *i’m not like everyone else* Am I?

And if you think I’ve just got an endless supply of half-naked pictures of myself (e.g., my feature in the best selling swimsuit calendar “Hot Bikini Babes of BC”), I don’t. Actually, that is a lie.

FYI. I was on September… and December. Two months? I know. I have so many layers…

So what did you miss most about your two days without Mostly Lisa updates? (emotional comments welcome)

Or is global warming all just an elaborate illusion?

We shall see. Al Gore is speaking at the University of Victoria this Saturday. So I will disguise myself in my best West Coast hippie dread wig and pachouli & granola scented fleece and let you know the secrets behind Al’s keynote prestige.

Tickets are $199? wot? yowzers. that is expensive. uh, well maybe i’ll just rip this dvd instead.

i think i’m at a point of no return with this whole two point oh social networking scene. i’m fairly certain that if i had to communicate to a person.. in person… i might run away or hide in my hair. which actually happened today.

that’s why i feel like i need to take a step away from the facebook to analyze it’s impact on mostly me.

Self Exploration through fb profile pictures

what does it all mean? how do i censor myself? who am i? do i even exist? how many pixels wide am i? why are my tears so beautiful? am i numb inside or is it merely life that numbs itself to me?

these are common questions we all ask ourselves each day. exploring the “self” is important. i like to reflect on a daily basis. mostly by looking at my reflection in a mirror. but as we all know, your reflection is not always the face you present to the world. we often censor ourselves. essentially creating or equating reality with self. if you didn’t get that, you’re probably not smart enough to read this blog. intellectualism is not for everyone.

anyhoo, um… i need some java… totally falling asleep right now. what was i saying? oh yeah, exploring self and stuff. if you’re up for it, i really recommend an exercise from my 3 part Self-exploration Series, entitled “My Internet Reflection: What is my Facebook Profile Picture really saying?”

The exercise is simple. Look through your fb profile picture album which probably has over 100 photos of you, or 200+ if you are as gorgeous as me, and ask yourself “what is this picture saying about my inner self?”

Here is an example from my own fb self-examination.
The following photos are saying…

“Coordination is important to me.”

“i heart attention”

“Please love me”

“I can balance a rock on my forehead”

“I like to play the guitar without pants on”

“I am definitely a model”

“I’m so bored right now”

Now let’s analyze these “truth statements”:

1. appearance is important to me
2. being centred and spiritually aware is essential for my growth
3. music strips away my outer layers
4. being labeled as a “model” by other people is important because i am vain
5. vanity isn’t a fault when you are really good looking
6. you’re probably boring me right now

Now it’s your turn. If I’m not still bored, let me know what your personal exploration into your fb profile picts reveal about you.

Dear MS Office,

We’ve had some fun times, haven’t we? Like that time I was presenting at a Linguistic Colloquium and Powerpoint crashed, and then randomly misplaced all my audio files, so I had to improvise and recreate the infant cries with my own voice So fun.

Oh and I will never forget that time when Word crashed whilst I was writing my MA thesis conclusion, and the back-up save failed, and the back-up back-up fail was a huge mess, so I had to re-write it from my actual “brain” memory at 5am. Good times. Wow.

Oh and Excel. The way Excel screws up everything. So, like, everything I did in it became a cesspool of disorder and crappiness. Love that. The long hours of entering data that I lost because of you will be remembered fondly.

And every time I transfered files from my Mac to a PC. Like the day I was printing out my thesis (at the last possible moment) and you decided to add a extra blank page to the beginning of every chapter so all the page numbers were pushed out of sync with the Table of Contents (which was a bloody disaster… again… because of you).

To summarize: YOU SUCK, Microsoft RUBBISH.

Fond Regards,
Lisa

PS. Meet my new bf.

We are so in love.

That’s why I’m currently dusting off some of my favourite books for some “smart” reading this summer. I’ve already put up a sticky on my desktop to remind me that I’m only moments away from sinking my teeth into some quality literature.

My first pick for smart summer reading is definitely:

Hoofbeats: Lara and the Silent Place.

This book really takes me back to my own “silent place” and the innocence that surrounds me when I’m in said silent place. And then there was silence…

My second pick is the mystery thriller:

The Not-So-Jolly Roger.

This book is by far the most mysterious and thrilling episode in the “Time Warp Trio” Series. I like to hide under the covers and read this book with a flashlight whilst eating marshmellows and cheese snacks. Takes you back, doesn’t it?